Dogs

One of my earliest memories is of sitting outside a shop in my pushchair, while my mum went inside to quickly buy something (not something you'd see these days, no doubt, what with parents being in constant fear for their children's lives at the hands of all the paedophiles roaming the streets (that's paedophile, not paediatrician, for anyone reading this from Portsmouth)). While my mum was at the checkout I thought I'd make friends with the small, fluffy poodle sitting next to me on the pavement, so I offered it my thumb, for reasons best known to my three year old self, and it bit me. Not that hard, in hindsight (I still have the thumb), but still - it bit be. From then on I didn't so much have a fear or hatred of dogs, just a general distrust in them.

Today, cycling home from work through the park, as I always do, four dogs were playing to my right on the grass, next to the (wide) path I was cycling on. I kept an eye on them, as I always do, because I always think they are likely to either a) start chasing me, or b) run infront of me. This time it was b. I pulled on the brakes, swerved to my left, made slight contact with one of the dogs (which produced a pitiful yelp), ditched the bike and flew about six foot, landing on the path. Instinct had prevented me from being too seriously injured - it was more of a roll in the end, rather than a full on face plant into the tarmac - and I wasn't particularly shaken, more pissed off. "Are you ok?" the dog-owner asked me. I sat on the path and looked at him, then his dog. I nearly started having a go at him but a moments reflection told me it was better not to. No one was in the wrong, particularly. You are allowed to have your dogs off the lead in the park. You are allowed to cycle in the park. Ok, so maybe I could argue that he should have better control of his dogs, but looking at them I could tell they were, as most dogs appear to be, pretty stupid. So I left it. It wasn't really the owners fault.

Which is more than I can say about the other dog-related incident you may have also read about in the news this week - the one where they ate the baby. "Blame the owners" is a cry we hear from the tabloids. I do. But I don't blame them for sculpting the dogs into menacing, ruthless killers. Oh no - I'm going back further than that. I blame them for having the fucking maniacs in the first place.

I don't buy all this 'don't blame the breed' crap. There are certain breeds of dog that are, or have the potential to be, dangerous, no matter how much 'training' they've had. That's a fact and I say bollocks to anyone who disagrees. The ones that ate the baby were kept as guard dogs because they are fucking dangerous. There's no need. Get a burglar alarm and a baseball bat or some CCTV or something. It might be a bit more expensive, but at least it won't eat babies.