Over-Friendly Shop Assistants

I'm all for a polite, well mannered shop assistant - in fact, I'd be the first to complain if that wasn't the case - but sometimes they go too far. It's a fine line, but it's a very definite, well-drawn line. I shall demonstrate:

Assistant: Hello
Me: Hello.
(assistant scans items and tells me how much it is)

That's good - polite, efficient, to the point. The following sometimes-favoured exchange is getting close to being over the top:

Assistant: Hello, how are you?

Now, I know it's only a slight variation, but this question requires an answer and the polite response from me is to ask the same question back:

Me: I'm fine. How are you?

Canny assistants will cut the conversation off with a 'fine thanks' and proceed to scan and tell me how much it costs. Which is fine, but it's all a bit unnecessary. I doubt very much if they really care how I am, for example. I certainly don't really care how they are. So we both lie : 'I'm fine'. Really, I could say, 'Well, I came out for some guitar strings and a tube of smarties but the wife has insisted that we go to every other shop in town to look for things she can't afford and doesn't need anyway. So, seeing as you're asking, I'm pissed off. And I don't have any smarties.' But I don't, because I can't be bothered and I don't want to tell them how I really am. It's none of their business.

The problems really start when the assistant tries to take the exchange beyond this. Supermarkets are the worst places for two reasons: 1. You normally buy a variety of things, all containing possibilities for conversation hungry assistants. 2. The people they employ.

I shall demonstrate once more:

Assistant: (enthusiastically) Hi! How are you this afternoon?
Me: I'm fine thanks.
Assistant: Would you like me to help you with your packing?
Me: No it's alright. I think I can manage (all four items).
Assistant: (picking up bottle of white wine and inspecting the label) Oooh. Italian white. Very nice. I've not had a chance to try this particular one. Is it nice?
Me: I don't know - I haven't drunk it yet.
Assistant: (still holding the wine) We're selling a lot of New Zealand wines at the moment. I tried one the other day - very nice! You should try them out if you get a chance.
Me: Maybe if you get a fucking move on I'll get a chance to drink that bottle before we all die of old age/boredom.

Wisdom Teeth

My jaw feels like it's on the wrong person. I can't eat properly. I can't sleep properly. My 'normal teeth' feel like they're being bullied out of my mouth.

Thankfully, I'm having all four of the bastards out in January.

Ambition

4pm Thursday afternoon, sitting in a pub, four pints down. I've taken the day off for two reasons - firstly, so I can have some beers at a gig on Wednesday night and not have to go to work with a hangover and secondly so I can deal with the hangover by sitting in the pub all afternoon with my mate. As usual, talk turns to what we'd really like to be doing with our lives if we didn't have to do 'normal work'.

We have plans. We've always had plans - some more realistic than others, but still plans. Mine are finally becoming more certain and, as it's the week of my 28th birthday, I am more aware than ever that time is actually becoming a factor in my life. It's no longer 'what you want to do when you grow up'. This is when I'm grown up and I'm 'doing it'. Except I'm not, but that's why we have plans, isn't it?

Anyway - what's this got to do with ambition? Well - I have ambitions which are, funnily enough, related to my plans. There are things I want to do with my life that I am working toward achieving. But they take time. And success isn't necessarily guarenteed. The problem with this is that it means I have an uncertain future. It is highly possible that, even if my ambitions are partially achieved, I will never have a large house, lots of money and children. I would like a large house, lots of money and, yes, even children. But if I follow my dreams that may never happen. I may never earn a decent wage by doing what I want to do and I may end up too old to have children before I even get round to thinking about it.

But I could not live with myself if I didn't try to fullfil my ambitions. Give up on them and stay in a shit job like this forging a 'career in higher education administration' for the rest of my life? Are you fucking kidding me? I seriously would rather kill myself. Would I rather do what I want to do and not have lots of money, than hate what I'm doing and have money? Too right I would!

This week, though, it seems that my life would be much easier without ambition. I'd love to be happy to sit back and have an easy life, work in a shit boring job earning enough to live nicely and 'work my way up the property ladder'. It ain't going to happen though.