Over-Friendly Shop Assistants
I'm all for a polite, well mannered shop assistant - in fact, I'd be the first to complain if that wasn't the case - but sometimes they go too far. It's a fine line, but it's a very definite, well-drawn line. I shall demonstrate:
Assistant: Hello
Me: Hello.
(assistant scans items and tells me how much it is)
That's good - polite, efficient, to the point. The following sometimes-favoured exchange is getting close to being over the top:
Assistant: Hello, how are you?
Now, I know it's only a slight variation, but this question requires an answer and the polite response from me is to ask the same question back:
Me: I'm fine. How are you?
Canny assistants will cut the conversation off with a 'fine thanks' and proceed to scan and tell me how much it costs. Which is fine, but it's all a bit unnecessary. I doubt very much if they really care how I am, for example. I certainly don't really care how they are. So we both lie : 'I'm fine'. Really, I could say, 'Well, I came out for some guitar strings and a tube of smarties but the wife has insisted that we go to every other shop in town to look for things she can't afford and doesn't need anyway. So, seeing as you're asking, I'm pissed off. And I don't have any smarties.' But I don't, because I can't be bothered and I don't want to tell them how I really am. It's none of their business.
The problems really start when the assistant tries to take the exchange beyond this. Supermarkets are the worst places for two reasons: 1. You normally buy a variety of things, all containing possibilities for conversation hungry assistants. 2. The people they employ.
I shall demonstrate once more:
Assistant: (enthusiastically) Hi! How are you this afternoon?
Me: I'm fine thanks.
Assistant: Would you like me to help you with your packing?
Me: No it's alright. I think I can manage (all four items).
Assistant: (picking up bottle of white wine and inspecting the label) Oooh. Italian white. Very nice. I've not had a chance to try this particular one. Is it nice?
Me: I don't know - I haven't drunk it yet.
Assistant: (still holding the wine) We're selling a lot of New Zealand wines at the moment. I tried one the other day - very nice! You should try them out if you get a chance.
Me: Maybe if you get a fucking move on I'll get a chance to drink that bottle before we all die of old age/boredom.
Assistant: Hello
Me: Hello.
(assistant scans items and tells me how much it is)
That's good - polite, efficient, to the point. The following sometimes-favoured exchange is getting close to being over the top:
Assistant: Hello, how are you?
Now, I know it's only a slight variation, but this question requires an answer and the polite response from me is to ask the same question back:
Me: I'm fine. How are you?
Canny assistants will cut the conversation off with a 'fine thanks' and proceed to scan and tell me how much it costs. Which is fine, but it's all a bit unnecessary. I doubt very much if they really care how I am, for example. I certainly don't really care how they are. So we both lie : 'I'm fine'. Really, I could say, 'Well, I came out for some guitar strings and a tube of smarties but the wife has insisted that we go to every other shop in town to look for things she can't afford and doesn't need anyway. So, seeing as you're asking, I'm pissed off. And I don't have any smarties.' But I don't, because I can't be bothered and I don't want to tell them how I really am. It's none of their business.
The problems really start when the assistant tries to take the exchange beyond this. Supermarkets are the worst places for two reasons: 1. You normally buy a variety of things, all containing possibilities for conversation hungry assistants. 2. The people they employ.
I shall demonstrate once more:
Assistant: (enthusiastically) Hi! How are you this afternoon?
Me: I'm fine thanks.
Assistant: Would you like me to help you with your packing?
Me: No it's alright. I think I can manage (all four items).
Assistant: (picking up bottle of white wine and inspecting the label) Oooh. Italian white. Very nice. I've not had a chance to try this particular one. Is it nice?
Me: I don't know - I haven't drunk it yet.
Assistant: (still holding the wine) We're selling a lot of New Zealand wines at the moment. I tried one the other day - very nice! You should try them out if you get a chance.
Me: Maybe if you get a fucking move on I'll get a chance to drink that bottle before we all die of old age/boredom.
posted by Percy Herbert at
2:03 pm
3 Comments:
Ah well,at least it keeps the little old dears which shop there happy. That super market chat may be the only human interaction they get all week! Probably reminds them of the good old days when they could get all they need for the week from Sid down the grocers on the corner. Perhaps the super markets should offer an "opt out of check-out small talk" badge along with their loyalty cards
By
Anonymous, at 5:52 pm
10 items or less
Wide trolleys
Chat?
Just bugger off?
That's the checkout options I'd like to see.
Some conversations can be great though. Like the West Indian woman who served me a while ago.
Nectar card?
Nope
Damn right. You don't want them knowing ALL your business now do you.
Not the company line but I could have hugged her.
By
Mike, at 9:54 am
Being socially perverse, I try engaging the miserable cunts in sunny conversation.
Usually they just attack my parenting skills or dress sense under the terms of some vague and totalitarian "Health and Safety" policy.
I never meet over-friendly shop assistants.
I am an over-friendly shopper, and I frighten them.
By
The Great Blandini, at 12:56 am
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