Half Term
My 45 minutes of freedom (or lunchtime, if you prefer. I don't take an hour because I come in 'late'. In fact, I should only take half an hour. And I normally come in at about 9.15am, instead of 9, so strictly speaking I should only take 15 minutes. But who's counting? I'm certainly not. Maybe they are? But fuck 'em. What are they gonna do? Sack me?) are rarely very jovial - they are, after all, sandwiched between 'Morning' and 'Afternoon', during which times I have to work. They are even less of a pleasure this week for one main reason - Half Term. And, more specifically, parents and children.
First of all - mothers with pushchairs. Just because you are pushing one of these things doesn't automatically mean you have the right of way, or the right to make your way, however you see fit. Fine - I'll open a door for you and make room if it's reasonable. But don't expect me to stop dead, move to the side and, in the end, take a completely different route to the one I was going to take just because you decided to pro-create and push your little pro-creation anywhere you like. You probably have all day to be pushing it around, I've got 45 minutes, so why don't you wait a fucking minute and realise there are other people in the world.
Secondly - the children. I know I know - they're only kids. And yeah, they're cute sometimes. But they're also fucking annoying. There I am vaguely looking over some shelves of discounted books when a 6 or 7 year old boy decides to test the fragility of my ear drums:
"MMMMUUUUUUMMMM. THEY'VE GOT FACE PAINTS OVER HERE!!!!!!!"
No response from the mother would lead you or I to believe that she is otherwise engaged with one of the other four children with her or, more surprisingly, the cashier, as she is actually buying something. But I watched the child quite specifically and at no point did he turn round to see if 'Mum' was actually listening. So for all he knew, she had heard and was coming over to look with him. That didn't matter:
"MMMMUUUUUUMMMM. THEY'VE GOT FACE PAINTS OVER HERE!!!!!!!"
Were I of slightly less stable mind, Mum would have been as sick of hearing about face paints as I was, sitting in hospital waiting for them to be removed from little junior's throat.
Thankfully (for him) I just left the shop - and had to jump out the way of a pushchair.
First of all - mothers with pushchairs. Just because you are pushing one of these things doesn't automatically mean you have the right of way, or the right to make your way, however you see fit. Fine - I'll open a door for you and make room if it's reasonable. But don't expect me to stop dead, move to the side and, in the end, take a completely different route to the one I was going to take just because you decided to pro-create and push your little pro-creation anywhere you like. You probably have all day to be pushing it around, I've got 45 minutes, so why don't you wait a fucking minute and realise there are other people in the world.
Secondly - the children. I know I know - they're only kids. And yeah, they're cute sometimes. But they're also fucking annoying. There I am vaguely looking over some shelves of discounted books when a 6 or 7 year old boy decides to test the fragility of my ear drums:
"MMMMUUUUUUMMMM. THEY'VE GOT FACE PAINTS OVER HERE!!!!!!!"
No response from the mother would lead you or I to believe that she is otherwise engaged with one of the other four children with her or, more surprisingly, the cashier, as she is actually buying something. But I watched the child quite specifically and at no point did he turn round to see if 'Mum' was actually listening. So for all he knew, she had heard and was coming over to look with him. That didn't matter:
"MMMMUUUUUUMMMM. THEY'VE GOT FACE PAINTS OVER HERE!!!!!!!"
Were I of slightly less stable mind, Mum would have been as sick of hearing about face paints as I was, sitting in hospital waiting for them to be removed from little junior's throat.
Thankfully (for him) I just left the shop - and had to jump out the way of a pushchair.
posted by Percy Herbert at
2:17 pm
4 Comments:
I know where you are coming from here. I think the root of the problem here though is respect for the people one is sharing the world with. It seems to be rare these days. That said, nothing shakes me up more than a young mother using her offspring and buggy as a traffic stopper on a busy highstreet. What are they thinking?? "I can alway have another if this one gets squished" I guess?!
By
Anonymous, at 4:27 pm
Which one was driving? ;^)
By
Anonymous, at 5:18 pm
It's not just at half term in the nanny / stay at home mummy world that is Fulham. My local coffee shop is surrounded by pushchairs dawn till dusk.
And given that the kids involved are the offspring of Jemima and Tarquin they are the most annoying precoucios little people in the world.
I swear I've heard more than one ENGLISH mother conversing in FRENCH to their darling six year old.
"No..No..Giles..en Francaise!"
Naturally Giles is yet to learn the french for "F*ck off"
By
Mike, at 4:54 pm
The French for 'Fuck Off' is 'Fuck Off'.
At least the bastards imported something....
By
The Great Blandini, at 10:42 pm
Post a Comment
<< Home